Die So You Can Soar

I was gonna post this really peppy blog post about how I used to be a big ass victim. It was super clever and filled with these precious Top 10 Lists people go fucking crazy over but then something happened.

I talked with someone and he reminded me of what matters in a big way.

I talked with someone who lost one of their parents and he said to me, “I realized that if this is as bad as I can feel, I can do anything. Any rejection won’t feel as bad as this. Ever. So why the fuck wouldn’t I do what I want to do? I mean, what have I got to fucking lose?”

Right? Shit hit me right there.

We all know the deal. People will disappoint us. Kick us in the nuts.

Projects will belly flop. Kick us in the tits.

We’ll feel like life is ripping our heart in two, and the pain will feel unbearable if we don’t remind ourselves we’re supposed to die so we can be reborn.

A lot.

You know you’re gonna die someday. I’m gonna die. We’re all gonna fucking die.

That should inspire you to live. If it doesn’t, then you haven’t taken many chances in life.

I was like that for years until now. Until now, I was sorta/kinda invested but until I understood the reason for failure I never risked failure.

Now I fall on my face a lot. I lose money, but I also make money. I sail, I sink and that’s the cycle.  

All of us die constant little deaths before the Big One, and they hurt and seem to have no reason unless we know the reason why we die over and over.

We die to be reborn strong motherfuckers. We die so we can feel indestructible.

We feel horrible heartbreak to remind ourselves rejection, people flaking on us, projects not happening is the way life is designed for a motherfucking REASON.

It’s our job is to get up and make something more of our lives and take bigger changes because of that so-called failure.

Oscar Wilde said it better than anyone. “To live is the rarest thing of all. Most people simply exist, that is all.”

Life isn’t ever kicking us in the nuts. Life is reminding us that pain is the fuel for our rebirth. Knowing that is the only way we aren’t affected when things don’t go the way we want.

I used to be so disappointed in people and so hurt when things didn’t go my way. I was such a victim. A little bitch.

I’ll tell you from experience, nobody likes a victim. They’re dull. Annoying. All they do is complain. People wanna slap them because they’re being a little bitch.

Mostly people feel bad for victims because they can tell they haven’t yet understood perseverance and resilience is the name of the game, things we can only understand when we die a little.

I’m not special. You’re not special. None of us are exempt. We all endure tragedy and pain.

What we do with it is the lowdown.  

Next time someone does something that really pisses you off, or cancels on you at the last minute, or pulls out of a project you’ve spent thousands and hours on or breaks up with you when they told you they’d love you forever go ahead and fall apart fall apart.

It’s cool. Fucking fall apart, like your wounds.

Time how long it takes you to go from feeling like your heart was ripped out to standing up ready to take on the world.

How long you take from being hurt, to getting up tells how healthy you are, and how much a victim you are.

Everything else is bullshit. Everything else is a waste of your life.

The key in all of this is not being some big mouthed hustler. It’s about being compassionate, kind and vigilant as you move from that space of “Fuck the world and everyone in it” to “I feel stronger than I ever have”.

The time it takes you to make that shift is your litmus test.

And until our heart has been broken a few times and we focus the fuck out of our lives will we realize “If this is the worse it can get then I can face any fucking rejection or failure.”

It’s up to us. Collaborate and make shit with others. Sure.

But we’re ones who light the fuse. We’re the ones who keep it lit every day of our lives, especially when shit is hard and our hearts are breaking.

It’s our job. No one else’s.