Ignore The Advice Of Others (Yes, I'm Serious)
There were many, many years where I had no idea what I wanted. I read endless books. I took the advice of EVERYONE. That's what you're suppose to do, right? Listen to everyone, then weigh their advice and make a decision? And make sure you do what your boss wants you to do? Don't ruffle feathers? Be political?
I was told you must go to college. So I did. NYU. Then I was told it was smart to get a good job with benefits. So I did. I got job after job after job. Investment Banking. TV. Film. Elite Universities. I had a thriving career working with affluent people everywhere.
So why wasn't I happy?
In my 20’s, I knew I was suffering from depression. I come from a fairly fucked up family. Lots of mental illness issues. Somehow, I made it out alive, but I wasn't thriving. I was getting by. I had to change. I knew it. But I had no idea how.
I read. A LOT. My father was a psychologist and my family were always voracious readers, so it was a natural for me to read others thoughts on what I should do. I'm also a writer, so words and the words of others has always been of great comfort for me.
I read. And read. And READ. Everything. I went to endless seminars. By the time I was in my 30’s, I’d devoured over a thousand psychology and self-help books and gone to hundreds of seminars and psychic and shrinks. I did it all...but I still wasn't happy.
I would listen to famous thinkers and the effect would always be the same. For a day or two, their advice would inspire me to take action. Then, the feeling of hope and optimism and excitement would fade. So I’d pick up another book and another book and listen to another thinker or celebrity or guru and undertake the process over and over and over again.
What I finally discovered was startling. Most people were telling me what I needed to do as it related to them, but it wasn't want I needed.
There's a reasons some people have glorious amounts of money and are living phenomenal lifestyles. It's because they know they deserve it. They innately feel worthy. They feel it in their bones. Successful people want more and more, because the getting of it is not what they're after. It's the chase.
Successful people often plateau because they don't allow themselves to go to the next level due to their feelings of restricted allowing. Their surrounded by naysayers that they hired! Can't tell you how many times I've worked with a superstar client who didn't understand why her staff was not up to speed with her new vision.
The reason was because she hired a staff who could give her what she needed at the time in the past when her vision was what it was. But because she's expanded and become more aware, some of her staff can keep up with that vision, and some can't.
We are never who we were yesterday. We are everything we are today and going to be in the future.
It also all comes down to one of the most fundamental ideas in careers, life and business: it's now what we want, but why we want it that matters. The understanding of the emotional why is the booster rocket we all need, and we must protect the support of that at all costs.
We're all born with an intuitive sense of who we are and what we want, but as we’ve all experienced, this truth is something we lose touch with being raised by well-meaning people in a well-meaning society who want us to do what they want to do to keep them happy.
That way of living is everyone's downfall.
Everyone loves the status quo, but it's the adherence to living the status quo that's fucking us up.
Getting up, going to work, coming home, collapsing, getting up the next day, doing it all over again because they have to.
No wonder so many people feel uninspired.
There's nothing that matters more in this lifetime then learning how to re-join forces with that voice inside of you which is your most trusted ally. It is the answer to getting all you want, even when you feel you have it all (which isn't possible, and we all know it).
Your connection to that inner being which resides inside of you is everything. We’ve heard that line so many times we’ve become numb to it. We relegate it to a yoga class or a postcard or something someone says on social media. But to experience it as a very real, daily compass in our lives makes us realize it's hardwired into us.
There is no relationship more important in your life than your connection with your inner being, which I call our co-pilot.
It’s more important than your relationship with your wife or your husband. Your boss. Your employees. Your fans. It’s more important than your relationship with your children. Yes, you're children. More important than the connection you have to your parents, your siblings. Anyone.
Seeking out the connection with your inner co-pilot, bolstering it up, fostering it, relying on it, joining hands with it and creating a life in tandem with it is the best drug you will ever, ever, ever find. I should know. I did a lot of drugs. Had a great time, too. Don't regret a second of it. Well, there was that one time in February in Paris in the early-90's, but I'll save that for when we meet.
There's this idea that before we came into our physical bodies there was a “pre-us” which existed. This “pre-us” is here for one reason and one reason only: to help us become the fully realized person we are meant to be. Destiny isn't part of it. Fate isn't part of it. Luck is certainly not part of it. Our lives are meant to be molded as we want. As WE want.
WE ARE IN CONTROL.
We're in complete control. We decide what we want our reality to be. We decide. We decide through the various forms of contrast we experiences in life as to what we like and don’t like.
The contrast is how we figure out what we want. That's why we want problems. How else can we know what we really want? And those 'problems'? We ask for every, single one of them. Why? Because it helps us to figure out what we want.
When we amass life experience, then we find out what we want, and then we say - okay, cool. I know what I want. How do I get it? The answer? We chill out.
We stay focused and aware and work with our inner co-pilot which will show us all the people, places and ideas we need to encounter to get what we want.
And then when we get what we want? We want more and more and more. And that's as it should.
Our inner-pilot only wants what’s best for us, and will always offer guidance when we're embracing our highest potential. It’s how we sync up with the right people, and get the inspired ideas and have the great thoughts and vision and energy and focus and clarity to complete big projects on a day-by-day basis.
I have a sister who is a Ph.D. and a major science person. When she and I talk this work she always wants proof. Physical proof.
The physical proof is in the way we feel. When we feel good and limitless, then we know anything is possible. You must have the feeling first before the inspiration can come. Every time, without fail.
We cannot have a vision that isn't supported by an precipitating feeling.
And that's the rub, isn't it? It's how visionaries function. And that's the process this work address. It goes right to the core beliefs and thoughts which we love that are holding us all back from listening to the vision via our inner co-pilot as to what we need to do to get what we want. It's that simple, but yet, that challenging.
Our inner co-pilot is our primary ally. You can count on it. Everything/everyone pales in comparison. Intimate love with another? Nothing compared to our relationship with who we truly are. We cannot love and we cannot succeed and find happiness until we work in tandem with our inner co-pilot.
Your inner co-pilot. Time to stake your life on it.