Be The Boss or Be The Bitch
I know the title of this blog post is pretty blunt, but it's the truth and it's time we all woke up to it.
I was a little bitch for a long time. To the waiting game, to people, to people who couldn't get their shit together.
Last night I was at a friends house. She's launching this multi-million dollar skin care line and she and I both laughed at how frustrated we used to be when people wouldn't come to our rally call to support our vision.
"Like it's their fucking vision!" she said, eating a bit of her famous Keto celery dip (it's amazing). "I spent so long waiting for others to get on board, asking for their permission. It's never going to be as urgent to them as it is for me, because it's not their vision! It's mine! I can't believe it's taken me so long to get that."
But she got it. Thank God. And I got it too before it was too late.
It's urgent we live in a state or urgency when it comes to our careers. I don't mean frantic, manic, "Please put down the espresso" urgency. That's forced energy, not real energy.
We're here to create, we're here to work, we're here to devote our time to loving what we do in our work lives. It's deeply vital we figure it out. We're here to be filled with passion and drive and to do things to make things happen.
If we aren't doing that then we aren't living, we aren't happy and we come to the end of our lives with nothing to show for it. How many more friggin' YouTube videos do we have to see where people say on their deathbeds "If I'd only worried less about the little things and focused on the big things"?
It's like a super sappy movie, but it's about about real life.
YOUR REAL LIFE. RIGHT NOW.
When we embrace the power of decisiveness that comes when we realize we're the boss of our lives, the boss of our vision, THEN we take on the full responsibility of creating companies, realizing project and making things happen.
I can't tell you the countless times I used to let others hold me hostage to the realization of projects. I was always waiting for this investor to get back to me, or this person to sign the paperwork, or this person to return my text. When we live like that we are doing two things that fuck up our lives to an enormous degree.
We are training ourselves to live the biggest fallacy of all, and that's that external things can bring us any sense of lasting happiness or joy. It's our worlds big addiction, and by letting others actions decide what we do we support the big illusion that any external thing can bring us lasting peace. We find peace first, then the work comes, the money comes, the projects happen.
I know, I know. Sounds like I smoked a blunt before I wrote that. It doesn't make any sense, or, it seems silly, impractical. But think about it.
We are letting weather or not people do something, and weather or not we get things, to determine how much we love our life.
You do get how that's a mind fuck, yes? How that's why we all suffer? And how we do it willingly?
So how do we find peace when there is nothing but unresolved business and money and communication issues all around us?
By knowing what it FEELS like to hear 'take back your power'. To not just read that and agree, but to say you've experienced that. And to note how things worked out AFTER we found that emotional state of power, decision and thrill for our vision.
Thrill. That's a good word. If you aren't thrilled by your vision, no one else will be.
We must take control. We must take back the power we lost sight of and we must steer the ship.
We must say to people "When can you talk next week?" not "Can you talk next week?"
It is possible to embrace crushing it with compassion and kindness. It's the new currency and it's awesome.
When we accept the challenges that come from the truth the only person who will have as much fire in the belly as us about our vision is us and us alone THEN we soar. Not before. Never before.
That's not to say others won't see the truth of our vision, and won't align with it and want to be involved, but they will not be the ones to burn the midnight oil and send out one more email, one more text, make one more call on the way to the finish line (which is another illusion since there is always another finish line).
The rush of empowerment, of energy and life force we feel when we take control of our destiny, when we don't expect others to do it for us but instead, welcome them into our work process is the great determiner of those who are successful, and those who are not.
The tenacious and the determined know failure is the fodder for success. They love to crash and burn because they know it's what makes them stronger. They know by failing we all learn how resilient and determined and capable we truly are.
We'll always crash and burn. Always. It's a process that's woven into the fabric of life.
By welcoming that into our lives, we find our balance and our strength. We learn we've always been the boss of our lives, our careers and that to wait for others to rescue or help us is to be their bitch, which is the perfect thing because then we wake up and realize the last thing we want to be is anybody's bitch.
Take control. Run the show. Find the energetic force within you that comes from not waiting, but being the one to run ahead to the goal with the ball of your career in your hand.
It's all to you working with the natural laws of the Universe, no one else.
Good hair helps, too. #thankyoumom